I would like to extend some thoughts about momo's post on her blog "Hmmm... why?".
been thinking abt all this, and you know some of us (me included) always compartmentalize the people around us into convenient boxes, and keep all the stuff we know about them in nice compact mental files. i am aware that this gives us some assurance and measure of stability. we "know" what the other person is like, what they will say, and how they will react in different situations. as long as the person stays in their box.
now you would be safe if the people around us would stay in those little boxes that you've built for them. but the thing is, people change, relationships change... and they move out of their allocated boxes. after they move out of their boxes, suddenly, you have to figure them out again. in their boxes, they lose the ability to hurt us, because whatever they do, you can just say "but then he/she's always like that". but once out of their boxes, that is when we will not be able to use that excuse. suddenly every action gets magnified and every word becomes personal. but yet, because they don't have a box, you cannot get angry/upset, the rules are not there...
sigh...
23 February 2007
If you would just stay in your box, I would be okay...
reflected by BETTYna at 23:58
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2 comments:
yah... i so understand about the box thing. You know, as I get older, I realise I like surprises less and less. Especially surprises of the more negative kind. I guess cause with age, our physical bodies as well as our emotional one, heals slower. Each hurt lasts longer, hurts more and leaves a deeper scar. Thus, all we seem to do is guard ourselves against people who have the potential to hurt us by pushing them away first. At least that's what I do. I hope one day I'll find the courage to change though.
most times it's instinctive. i don't think most people are aware that they are doing this. haha... i wonder whether it's to our advantage or to our disadvantage that we know that we are like that. cos it's not like we know and we're making effort to change this part of us. i always say "she's like that one, what" (replace she with I, they, we, he... for more permutations). it's my way of controlling my emotions.
that being said, i think i'm trying a little though... which as a result i think i've been more emo than i have in a long time. BUT that may just as well be a result of PMS the past week. hahahahahaha
*shrugs*
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