expectations revisited

you know what's really bad about expectations... is that expectations when raised, and then dashed can really hurt.

but pain is merely a state of mind.

life without feeling. is it really that bad after all? i hope i never get to find out...

As of today

As of today, I have had worked 7 continuous days in a row.

But, JOY!!! The weekend is finally here!!!!!

As of today (actually just today), I have bought 3 dresses, 2 pairs of shoes and some satin hairbands.

bad Bettina.

As of today, I am a girlfriend for 1 week and 2 days.

... blissful happy sigh...

extreme boredom

ummm... yeah the title says it all. i'm so so so so so so bored. basically because i haven't really have much work to do for the last few days. and there is a limit to the number of blogs one can read a day (why don't people update their blogs more often!!!) and the number of people one can stalk on friendster... but well, don't look so envious now, i have to work this saturday AND sunday. sigh... the horror of it all. i really do hope sunday will just be a half day.

One good thing though, i'm on leave tomorrow. :) all because my bro, yes little nathaniel, is going to NS!!!!!! heh... i dunno if i should worry about him. he's the baby of the family... the one i buy clothes for, the one who still *sometimes* calls me jie jie, the one who got angry with me when i pushed him off the sofa and chipped his tooth... but that's another story for another day... haha. anyway, this little brother of mine, cute as he is, is not exactly what i imagine a soldier to be. definitely not like a spartan in 300... more like Saigo - ninomiya's character in Letters from Iwo Jima. hahaha... don't tell him i said that... :P He doesn't even kill cockroaches for me at home...

Oh well, maybe NS will be good for him. maybe it'll help him become a man. i hope he stays good though... they learn too many bad things in army... heh... it's weird thinking about my baby brother swearing fluently in hokkien, or... urgh... never mind... don't wanna imagine. but he has to go though this himself. we can't baby him forever, even though i kinda want to. :P

So here's a prayer for Nat:

Dear God,

I pray that you'll keep Nathaniel safe from all harm as he goes through training in NS. Grant him divine favour with his commanding officers, and help him keep a positive attitude in everything he does. Keep him safe from temptation, keep his mind pure, and his heart safe for You, no matter what situation he finds himself in. I pray that he'll learn to turn to you 1st no matter what. Bless him with good christian friends in NS who will encourage and uplift him. Help him to be a witness, a candle in the darkness that is the army.

I thank You for bringing him thus far, and I know that You will continue to watch over him.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen

A lazy Saturday, a tiring Friday and an interesting Thursday

this saturday was the most restful one i've had in the last month or so...

the weather was lovely... blue skies, white fluffy clouds and a bright-just-right-for-tanning-sun.

well i didn't exactly sleep in, but i did manage to sneak in an afternoon nap. (the joy!!!)

In the morning, i went wakeboarding with jaime and jas. my 3rd time, i think i can stand quite stable-ly now... even though i forgot how to get up properly the 1st 3 times... i can ride with one hand! yay!!! that's a major accomplishment for psycho-motor-challenged/balance-impaired/clumsy me.

look... proof!!!! :)

anyway, so on Good Friday, eve came to my church for service. a picture of us on the roof terrace. we really do have a million dollar view. :P

Thanks for coming dearie, and i hope this will not be the one and only visit. you must come again!

After church, went down to town for a bit of shopping and watched freedom writers... it's such a touching show. i really admire Erin Gruwell for her passion and her dedication towards her students. she believed in them when no one else did, and really made a difference to those kids' lives.

Since i am going backwards in time, i reach thursday, of which its main activity was something i'd never done before in my life - visit the Night Safari. Murphy seemed to be working extra hard that evening... but it made for an experience i will probably never ever forget. to the one who planned it, thank you, i enjoyed myself. :)

Finally let's backtrack 2 weeks to the day before momo left. From our dinner at Jumbo, a photo of momo (with coco the bear), who is shopping up a storm in tokyo. ;) don't they look adorable...

Expectations

Expectations are the shits.

It would be nice if I didn't have any expectations of anything/anyone. I'd never be disappointed, cos if something good happened, it would be a pleasant surprise, and if nothing good happened, it would be... well... just life as usual.

Seems like a pessimistic way of looking at life? I guess so... but it saves a person from the emotional trauma one faces when disappointments occur.

to keep on my rose tinted glasses, i risk my emotional wellbeing. to throw them away, would be to not live at all.

Happy-ness

it's terrible how my mood swings from one post to another. :P

i've got nothing to complain about this week. every single day, i am able to find something that makes me happy. and it's a blissfully-sappy kinda happy too. siiiigh. (and that was a happy dreamy sigh)

catharsis

Pronunciation: k&-'thär-s&s
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ca·thar·ses /-"sEz/
Etymology: New Latin, from Greek katharsis, from kathairein to cleanse, purge, from katharos
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

This weekend necessitated some form of carthartic release. it was a crazy weekend. my life is usually kinda boring, and relatively peaceful, but the emotional ups and downs of the weekend have been... tiring to say the least.

in brief, lack of sleep; being forced into going for a deparment event; denial; painful sadness; intense tiredness; losing; being told that i've got an inferiority complex; upset-ness; being told that not just one person thinks that way; depression; family disagreements; overwhelming emo-ness, culminated in my newest ear piercing.

haha... so i'm not that much of a bad girl... getting another hole in my ear is probably as wild as i can get.